What I Have Learned

One hope that I have when thinking about working with children and families is to expose them to all of the wonderful diversity that is in our world.  I would hope to help the children and their families develop a deeper understanding of differences and to have an acceptance for all people.

One goal I would like to set for the early childhood field related to diversity, equity, and social justice would be to provide early childhood educators with opportunities to continue their education about these topics.  I have realized that through this course, I still have a great deal to learn about myself as well as how to address issues related to diversity, equity and social justice.  Continuing conversations as well as the learning of early childhood educators would be extremely beneficial to the field.  

I would like to thank all of my colleagues and Dr. Klein for their support and guidance through this course.  I appreciate all of the personal stories that were told, they truly helped deepen my understanding of the topics we studied.  Best of luck in your future courses and work in the early childhood field. 

DIVERSITY

Start Seeing Diversity..."We Don't Say Those Words in Class"

A few years ago, when my daughter was around 2 years old, we were shopping together in the local Wal-Mart.  While we were walking down one of the aisles, we passed a woman who was bald.  My daughter said, "Mommy, that lady doesn't have any hair!"  I felt immediate embarrassment and quietly shushed my daughter so the woman wouldn't hear my daughter's comments.  I quickly pushed the cart to another aisle and my daughter continued to ask questions like, "is she a boy?"  I told her that we aren't supposed to say things like that out loud. 

By shushing my daughter and telling her that we don't talk about things like that, I was sending a message that the questions she was asking were wrong.  I was teaching her that the differences in people were something to be ashamed of or hidden.  I was also stifling her natural curiosity to ask questions about differences as well as providing her with an opportunity to learn about human differences. 

An anti-bias educator may have responded by saying, "Many people have different hair styles.  They can have long hair, short hair, no hair, hair of many different colors, etc."   A conversation could also take place about reasons people may have no hair, such as disease.   After the initial discussion, we could look at different hair styles that we see on television, in books, in our family as well as in magazines and photographs.  An anti-bias educator would support and develop a child's understanding instead of silencing the child. 

Start Seeing Diversity

I think that society creates an environment of homophobia and heterosexism.  Gender stereotypes pay a large role in this specifically when many activities are defined as specifically for boys or girls.  If a boy or girl engages in a certain activity that is defined for the opposite gender, they can be described as a “tom boy” or a “sissy”. 

 

As I think about the books that I read with my children or the movies and television shows that they watch, I cannot identify a time when we have read about or watched a story that involved a gay family or couple.  It is almost like this topic is not allowed for young children.  Some of the books that I read with my children include a single parent, but never a situation with a homosexual couple.  Because children do not have much experience with this, it is something they are curious about when they see it. 

 

My daughter attended a daycare with two little girls who had lesbian parents.  One day, she told me that they did not have a daddy, but two mommies.  I began to explain to her that this is a typical situation.  In fact, she has two daddies, her step-father and her birth father.  She was not satisfied with this explanation and I told her that sometimes two women can love each other and sometimes two men can love each other.  She asked me several questions, but was most concerned about what the couples would wear when they got married!  She was very accepting of the fact that families can be different and I’m very glad she got to experience that at such a young age.   

 

I feel that early childhood centers should have books and pictures and other resources to help children develop an understanding of different families.  This is a great step toward creating a generation of open-mindedness.  In fact, because my daughter saw this, she was able to ask questions and feel open to the fact that all families are different.

 

If a parent expressed concerns about having a homosexual caregiver, I would discuss the concern with my colleagues and administrators.  I would hope that we could talk with the parent and offer some diversity trainings or workshops as well as invite the parents into the classroom to see how the child is being cared for.

           

I have not used a homophobic term toward a child as an insult, but have heard children use homophobic terms toward each other.  I work with a group of 5^th grade students.  Last year, there was a boy in another teacher’s class who liked a girl.  The girl did not return his affections and in retaliation, he spread rumors that she was a lesbian.  It was clear that this was meant as an insult and the teacher, administrator and parents had a conference with the child.  These types of comments could influence all children because it creates an environment where these types of comments, meant to insult, become acceptable for others to use.  It can also lead to children who may come from a family that has two moms or dads to feel embarrassed or to develop a negative self identity. 

 

Gender roles and stereotypes as well as homophobia are topics that need to be discussed and addressed with young children.  It is the lack of exposure and ignorance of the topics that lead children to create stereotypes.

Team Development

I worked with a team of 3 other teachers for 3-4 years.  This group was extremely high-performing because we were all working with each other and for the good of the team, which in turn benefited the students.  All people showcased their own strengths for different aspects, such as developing creative ideas to teach a topic, coming up with an interesting writing assignment, or a new strategy for teaching math.  There was not one defined leader, but each person stepped up at different times.  

This past school year, I had to leave the team, which had really become my family.  It was very difficult for me to leave the team.  I even experienced slight depression symptoms because of the drastic change and withdraw from my support system.  I believe this occurred because I did not have the same connection with my new team. As the year has progressed however, I do feel that my new team is also a support system, which is positive.  We continue to maintain a friendship and share resources and ideas with each other, even though we are no longer considered a team.  

I imagine that the adjourning stage from this master's program will be a celebratory time because we all understand how hard each of us have worked to complete the program.  We have benefited from each other's knowledge and will use that to improve our own professional growth.

Adjourning is essential because all projects and groups come to an end.  This is often the main goal of forming a group in the first place, to accomplish a task.  Once the task is complete, the group has to either stay together and set a new goal or take what they have learned and form a new group. 

Conflict in Relationships

I tend to avoid conflict whenever possible, so luckily I am not currently experiencing any conflict.  I have experienced much conflict and many disagreements in the past, specifically regarding the relationship I have with my husband.

My husband is a wonderful man who not only took on the responsibilities of being a husband, but also took on the responsibilities of being a father at the same time.  When we got married, my daughter, from a previous relationship, was 3 years old.  She was certainly a mommy's little angel because it had only been me and her for nearly her entire life, but my husband didn't always view her in the same way. 

This conflict around my husband's role in my daughter's life did cause many disagreements in our relationship.  One issue we struggled with was discipline and his role in this.  I did all of the discipline for her, but many times did not follow through with consequences or let her get away with things because I didn't want to hurt her feelings or upset her.  He on the other hand, wanted to set strict boundaries and rules and when he did enforce consequences, I felt like he was targeting her and upsetting her.  I would swoop in to comfort her when he wasn't looking.  This caused a great deal of conflict because my husband felt that he wasn't being supported in his relationship with our daughter and we really struggled finding his place there. 

Two strategies I learned about this week that helped us resolve our conflict were compassionate communication and compromise. The NVC website explains that compassionate communication or nonviolent communication focuses on communicating in a compassionate manner in order to meet everyone's needs (http://www.cnvc.org).  Although we did disagree about some things, we both had only the best intentions in mind in regards to my daughter.  We both wanted what was best for her.  When communicating about this issue, we both expressed our concerns and we were both considerate regarding the other's position.  My husband understood that it was difficult for me emotionally to see my daughter upset, while I understood the difficulties he faced with trying to find his role as her step-father.  Ultimately, we compromised on most issues.  He allowed me to be the lead when dealing with discipline issues and we supported each other and worked as a team when problems with our daughter would arise.  I made sure to begin following through with consequences and my husband was less aggressive with these consequences.  

Utilizing cooperative strategies which benefited our family relationship and served mutual goals helped us to create a loving and nurturing environment for our daughter (O'Hair and Wiemann, 2012).  Although we still have an occasional disagreement or conflict about what is right for our daughter, we rely on compassionate communication and compromise to attack the issue.    

References

 O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real Communication . Boston: Bedford/St. Martins.

The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). NVC Model & NVC Concept. The

center for Nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/

Who am I as a Communicator?

I found this week's application assignment to be very informative and really did give me some information about how I perceive myself as well as how I am perceived by others.  I had my husband and one of my colleagues evaluate my communication skills.  Both of them gave me scores very similar to my own, with minor differences.

I was most surprised that I scored in the moderate range for verbal aggressiveness.  I am quiet, shy and tend to avoid conflict if possible.  I was certain that I would score in the low range for verbal aggressiveness.  When my husband evaluated me, I scored in the mild range, but it was very close to moderate.  When evaluated by my colleague, I scored in the moderate range as well.  This was different than I perceived myself or even how I believed others perceived me.  After considering this rating, I realized that I don't like conflict, however if I feel the need to express a thought or opinion about something, I will do it.  I guess that it is what I say when I do speak, not my apprehensiveness about speaking that led me to score in the moderate range.  

I also learned that I have a people-oriented listening style and that I have situational communication anxiety.  I agree with this assessment of myself and feel that the description of these two attributes are accurate.  Being people-oriented will help me build relationships with the children and families with whom I work as well as with family members and friends.  One down side to this, however is that I may be too trusting of others and could possibly be taken advantage of (Rubin, Rubin, Graham, Perse, & Seibold, 2009).  I have always been reluctant to speak in front of others or even have conversations with those whom I'm not comfortable.  Being labled as having "situational" communication anxiety is accurate.  Who I am communicating with affects my comfort level and I do tend to avoid these situations.  I seek out opportunities to challenge myself to become more comfortable with these situations.  I volunteer to deliver staff development as well as interact with people I don't know very well when my husband and I are out at social events.  

The information provided by these assessments will help me to become a better communicator and I'm glad I had the opportunity to learn about my perceptions as well as the perceptions of others.  

Resources

Rubin, R. B., Rubin, A. M., Graham, E. E., Perse, E. M., & Seibold, D. R. (Eds.)

       (2009). Communication research measures II: A sourcebook. New York: 

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Communication and Culture

As a child, I grew up in a very rural community which had little diversity.  It wasn't until I reached college that I was exposed to different cultures and a world of diversity I had never experienced.  As an adult, I wanted to live in an area where my children wouldn't be sheltered from the world around them.  I moved to a suburb a few minutes outside of Baltimore, Maryland, which is bursting with cultural diversity.

I tend to be a bit of an introvert and do not find communicating with anyone unfamiliar to be an easy task.  When I am communicating with people from different groups and cultures, I do sometimes get a sense of uneasiness.  I’m not sure if this comes from my feelings of feeling uncomfortable with conversing with others, whom I’m not completely comfortable with, in general or because the people are from a different group or culture.  I think I communicate differently by being more aware of what I am saying; I am hoping that I don’t say anything that might be offensive to someone unintentionally. 

To communicate more effectively, I could use Beebee, Beebee, and Redmond’s (2010) idea of self talk; thinking through what I am going to say before saying it.  I can also apply Bennett’s idea of the Platinum Rule; thinking about how others want to be treated (Beebee, Beebee, and Redmond, 2010).  Finally, I think I could spend time asking questions and trying to understand other cultures and groups in an effort to feel more comfortable communicating. 

I hope that my own children will not experience these feelings of uneasiness when communicating with others of different groups or cultures because they have been around so much diversity while growing up.

 References

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication:

 Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Verbal and Non-Verbal Communication

For this assignment, I watched ABC’s Revenge.  I had never watched the show before and actually had a difficult time understanding just what was going on, even after I had turned to volume on.  There were many characters in the episode, who I later found out, when I watched with volume, were all connected in some way or another.  When watching the episode on mute, I didn't

 realize the way that the characters were intertwined. 

            One specific example I watched was a man and a woman walking through the street.  They were holding hands and he gave her his jacket.  I automatically assumed by their behavior and non verbal communication that they were a couple.  After watching with volume, I found out that they were actually brother and sister.  Later, they walked into what looked like a campaign room up to an older man.  I assumed that the man was the girl’s father, but they did not express signs of contentment with each other.  They stood a distance apart and did not embrace.  This led me to believe that they may have had an argument.  This was not addressed in the episode, perhaps there was a conflict in a previous episode. 

             After watching this show without the volume, I realized that some parts of the plot were easy to decipher.  For example, there was a scene between a man and woman, who I assumed were husband and wife, where she behaved very coldly toward him.  She did not greet him when he entered the house and she sat down at the table and drank and ate as if he weren't there.  I could tell by the body language of the woman that she was not particularly fond of him.  When I turned the volume on, I was correct; in fact she had just helped another character spy on her husband. 

            Some parts of the plot were difficult to decipher, such as the relationship between the characters.  I didn't learn how they were connected until I watched the episode with volume and I started to learn their names. 

            I have learned that communication can occur in many different forms.  Also, a lot can be communicated without words, just by non verbal clues.  In the beginning of the scene, there was a blackout and some people showed concern on their faces by staring out the window with a furrowed brow or they looked tense and had a tight jaw when they were angry.  I also learned that non verbal clues do not always match up with what is actually happening.  For example, the couple who were holding hands wasn't a couple at all, they were brother and sister.  Communication is definitely not straight forward and it is important to pay attention to both verbal and non verbal communication to effectively understand a situation.  

What is Communication?

As much as I don’t like to admit it sometimes, my husband is a very competent communicator.  He is a very logical thinker and is also very organized and thorough with everything that he does.  He is the type of person that knows what he wants or expects and knows exactly how to get it.

 An example for this is when we were purchasing a car this past year.  Before even entering a dealership, he set criteria for what he expected from the car and spent time researching.  After using the criteria and research, he selected a few choices from various dealerships and emailed to gather information about their product.  When the dealerships made offers to my husband, he presented the offers to the other dealers who also had the same car in which we were interested.  This created competition among the dealers allowing us to get a better deal on the car we were purchasing.  Not only did he email the dealer, he copied all of the correspondences he made to the manager of the dealership as well.  This held the dealers accountable for customer satisfaction.  After he found the best deal for the car that we wanted, he transferred his communication from the dealer, who works on commission from the car, to the finance manager, who works on commission from the loan package.  This allowed us to receive the car at a lower rate than we would have working directly through the dealer.  All of this occurred before even setting foot into a dealership.  When we did finally go to pick the car up, we signed the documents and drove away with the care within the hour. 

Not only did my husband use his communication skills to save our family time, he also was able to leverage a good deal and get our car under the estimated value.  I believe that he knew how to communicate with the car dealers, but he also anticipated their motivations and used this to get what he wanted.      

I would love to model some of my own communication skills after my husband.  He is extremely assertive and confident in both what he says and what he does, especially when communicating in business type situations.  I am the opposite of him, I am much more laissez-faire in my behavior and try to avoid conflict and appease everyone.  I feel that being more direct could benefit me in achieving tasks both personally and professionally. 

Professional Hopes and Goals

I have learned so much during this course regarding culture and diversity.  There have been many topics that I did not have a clear understanding of until I read the resources and watched the media segment.  Through these resources, I was able to comprehend much more about diversity, culture and how these topics relate to the field of early childhood.  One hope that I have when thinking about working with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds is that I can be a model for the children and families with whom I work.  I hope to open the minds of the children and families with whom I work to accept and respect other cultures and each child's unique traits.  I would hope to use opportunities that arise in the classroom as teachable moments in order to teach tolerance and acceptance to the children.

One goal I would like to set for the early childhood field related to issues of diversity, equity, and social justice is to develop more programs to teach early childhood educators about these issues.  Early childhood educators need to have an understanding of their own personal diversity in order to understand issues related to this topic.  Programs aimed at developing a deep understanding of diversity, equity, and social justice would benefit the early childhood field by helping educators address issues related to these topics.  Deepening the children's understanding of diversity, equity, and social justice would allow them to grow up with more of an open mind when it comes to the differences of others.  This may be a step in eliminating some of the "-isms" that exist deep in the minds of people. 

I would also like to than Dr. Darragh and my colleagues for sharing all of their knowledge.  I am not currently working with early childhood aged students, I work with 5th graders, but through reading your experiences, I have benefited greatly.  I am able to develop an understanding of the early childhood field with your help.  I'm looking forward to continuing our educational journey together!

Welcoming Families from Around the World

For this assignment, I picked a country that I have absolutely no knowledge of.  My family's country of origin is Yemen. 

In order to be culturally responsive towards this family, I would first research the country to gain understanding of the location, language, and other cultural aspects.  I believe that I would need some surface knowledge of the country in order to gain a deeper understanding.  Following my initial research, I would speak with human resources at my school, such as the ELL teachers, who might have some insight into working with students and families from other countries.  When the family arrived, I would schedule a meeting with the family and possibly an interpreter, if necessary, to gain some insight into their family and culture as well as their ideas about education.  I would work to maintain an open and positive relationship with this family in an effort to make the transition into the new country easier, while working to preserve his or her cultural diversity.  I would also prepare the children and the classroom for receiving this student.  I would model some lessons about how being unique and different makes each of them special and I would include something in the classroom that reflected each child's background.  It would be important for the new child to see his or herself reflected in the new environment.  

I would hope that these preparations would benefit me by allowing me the opportunity to learn about another culture and that they would benefit the family by making them feel welcome and that their culture is valued in my classroom.  I would hope that it would be a positive experience for everyone.    

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

My husband travels frequently for his job and on occasion, I travel with him.  Several years ago, after September 11^th, he was travelling with one of his co-workers.  My husband is very representative of the dominant culture.  He is male, well educated, and Caucasian.  His co-worker however is of Indian descent and a Muslim.  When travelling through the security check, my husband was able to pass through without any difficulties, but when his co-worker went through the check, he was stopped.  The TSA agents selected him for additional security screenings, including pat-downs and looking through his luggage.   Since this time, they have travelled together on many occasions and this same situation occurred.  The security checks that were supposed to be random clearly were not.   

                It was evident that because of the man’s appearance, he was being prejudged and was immediately suspected of having ill intentions.  His equity was diminished because he was not being treated in the same way as the other passengers, including my husband.  I felt a sense of injustice for my husband’s coworker.  We knew him as a person and that he was completely safe, but because of his appearance, he was being targeted by the TSA agents.  Society would have to change in order to turn this incident into an opportunity for greater equity.  It is because of ignorance that this situation occurred.  In order to change this, society needs to become educated on differences in cultures and how to value diversity.  As a society, we need to respect and value the differences among people and stop stereotyping and prejudging people based on looks.        

Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

After listening to Dr. Sue’s media segment about microaggressions, I began thinking about microaggressions that I am guilty of as well as listening for microaggressions that I heard from other people.  I heard one specific microaggression that stood out to me this week. 

As a Baltimore Ravens fan, I have been following the media coverage for my team this week, leading up to the Super Bowl.  When I was listening to the coverage of “Media Day”, I was surprised to hear San Francisco 49ers, Chris Culliver make the following comment:

Culliver was being interviewed by comedian Arte Lange on Tuesday night when Lange asked him if there were gay players in the NFL.

"I don't do the gay guys man," Culliver said. "I don't do that."

Lange asked if he thought there were any gay players currently on the 49ers.

"No, we don't got no gay people on the team, they gotta get up out of here if they do. Can't be with that sweet stuff."

Culliver immediately came under fire and issued an apology.

"The derogatory comments I made [Tuesday] were a reflection of thoughts in my head, but they are not how I feel," Culliver said in a statement released by the 49ers. "It has taken me seeing them in print to realize that they are hurtful and ugly. Those discriminating feelings are truly not in my heart. Further, I apologize to those who I have hurt and offended, and I pledge to learn and grow from this experience." (Loumena, 2013)

This was clearly a microassult on the gay community.  Although he apologized later, Culliver made a deliberate, hurtful, and harmful attack on gay men in the NFL.  Considering the circumstance that this player finds himself in, an NFC champion, going to the Super Bowl, I was very shocked to hear his comments.  NFL players are often looked up to as role models and he made a very poor decision with the response he made in his interview. 

I realize that many people make comments that are discriminatory, stereotypical, or prejudice, often unintentionally, but these comments are very hurtful.  When these types of comments are made, it not only affects the targeted person, but unless pointed out, promotes the idea that these types of comments are acceptable.  This week had made me look at myself and have an awareness of the things I say.  I do not want to be responsible for degrading or making another person feel inferior.  I hope to spread awareness of microaggressions and be more aware of what I say.

Resources

Laureate Education, Inc. (2011). Microagressions in everyday life.

Loumena, D. (2013, February 2). Chris Culliver to have sensitivity training, work with LGBT group. Los Angeles Times. Retrieved from http://www.latimes.com

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

 

After asking three people about their perspective on diversity and culture, I received a variety of answers.  The perspectives of each person are below:

 

1.     This perspective is from a female in her mid-late 50’s, who is an elementary school teacher.

 

“I've had varying views about culture. My first thoughts growing up were that it connected to ethnicity where someone for example came from, their country. You know living in the area in which I grew up in the 70's wasn't diverse at all. I don't even remember diversity until I really started working at a bank in Montgomery County, Maryland. I know that I have had racial biases. My children have shown me through their lives to see things differently.

Also now being in education I've come to view it as a multitude of different things. It's the environment that someone lives in, it’s their religion, their values, their traditions, the way they dress, the foods they eat, the books they read, their political views, their race, their economic status, the way they see themselves in relation to others.

 

The kids attended a very diverse high school. I remember talking with my son one day and he said that he really liked it because you didn't have to have everyone as your best friend but you definitely learned to tolerate others that weren't "like" you. It was more representative of what the rest of the real world was like. You can't live in a bubble. You don't have to accept everyone's beliefs or cultural differences but respecting them is important. The only exception to that for me is if it's a safety or health concern. Everyone needs to be safe and feel safe.

This country was formed from a melting pot of immigrates and we are still that if not more.”

 

2.     This perspective is from a male in his early 20’s.

 

“Culture is what you are like, what group you’re in, like Black, White or Hispanic. Diversity is being different than others I guess.”

 

3.     This perspective is from a female in her mid-20’s who is also an elementary school teacher.

 

“Culture is different ethnicities, religions, races, and traditions.  Diversity is kids with those differences in the classroom.  We have to learn about their culture to help them learn best in our classroom.”    

 

I feel that the second and third perspectives are the way that most people view culture and diversity.  There is a basic idea about what it includes, but not a full comprehension of what culture truly is. I believe the first response is exactly what we have been studying in this course.  It is clear that this person has a deep understanding and appreciation for culture and diversity and has even had personal experiences related to cultural differences.  She said, “. It's the environment that someone lives in, it’s their religion, their values, their traditions, the way they dress, the foods they eat, the books they read, their political views, their race, their economic status, the way they see themselves in relation to others.”  This is what we have been learning about during this course, that culture is ingrained in us; it is how we live and function every day, it is in everything that we do.  I thought she captured this very well in her explanation.   

           

In the perspectives, diversity was explained as “being different”, which is true, but no one was able to elaborate on the concept.  The failed to identify the many different ways in which we can be diverse including, age, gender, sexual orientation, and occupation.  Diverse is seen as being different, but often times the specific ways that people can be different can be overlooked.  There is so much diversity even within the diverse groups that I mentioned above.  Diversity does include differences, but it is what makes each of us an individual.    

After reading these three responses, I feel that at the beginning of this course, I was more like the second and third perspectives.  I had a basic idea of culture and diversity, but had absolutely no idea how deep they go.  I think that the more educated one is on this topic, the more one is able to comprehend just how profound these topics are.  I certainly relate more to the first definition of culture because I have studied and learned about culture and diversity over the past three weeks.  I appreciate the knowledge that I have gained because in the education field, if I don’t understand what culture and diversity are, I will certainly have a difficult time meeting the cultural and diverse needs of children and families. 

        

        

 

My Family Culture

After considering the scenario of being transplanted to another country, the items I would take with me would be my wedding rings, my camera, and money.

I would take my wedding rings because they signify the bond between my husband and myself and hold many important memories about our relationship.  I would take my camera because it has years worth of photos that I have not printed and I would be able to continue to document the memories my family would make in our new home.  I would also take money.  With money, I would be able to exchange it for the currency of that country and buy anything else that my family would need.

If I were told that I could keep only one item, I would be disappointed, but I would keep my wedding rings.  Of all the items I would bring, they hold the greatest amount of significance and are such a symbol of the relationship I share with my husband.  I would be devastated if I did not have them.

I found it difficult to narrow down my life into three items, but based on my list, I realize that I value my family and also financial security.  Two of the three items I selected hold sentimental value to me and cannot be replaced.