Team Development

I worked with a team of 3 other teachers for 3-4 years.  This group was extremely high-performing because we were all working with each other and for the good of the team, which in turn benefited the students.  All people showcased their own strengths for different aspects, such as developing creative ideas to teach a topic, coming up with an interesting writing assignment, or a new strategy for teaching math.  There was not one defined leader, but each person stepped up at different times.  

This past school year, I had to leave the team, which had really become my family.  It was very difficult for me to leave the team.  I even experienced slight depression symptoms because of the drastic change and withdraw from my support system.  I believe this occurred because I did not have the same connection with my new team. As the year has progressed however, I do feel that my new team is also a support system, which is positive.  We continue to maintain a friendship and share resources and ideas with each other, even though we are no longer considered a team.  

I imagine that the adjourning stage from this master's program will be a celebratory time because we all understand how hard each of us have worked to complete the program.  We have benefited from each other's knowledge and will use that to improve our own professional growth.

Adjourning is essential because all projects and groups come to an end.  This is often the main goal of forming a group in the first place, to accomplish a task.  Once the task is complete, the group has to either stay together and set a new goal or take what they have learned and form a new group. 

Conflict in Relationships

I tend to avoid conflict whenever possible, so luckily I am not currently experiencing any conflict.  I have experienced much conflict and many disagreements in the past, specifically regarding the relationship I have with my husband.

My husband is a wonderful man who not only took on the responsibilities of being a husband, but also took on the responsibilities of being a father at the same time.  When we got married, my daughter, from a previous relationship, was 3 years old.  She was certainly a mommy's little angel because it had only been me and her for nearly her entire life, but my husband didn't always view her in the same way. 

This conflict around my husband's role in my daughter's life did cause many disagreements in our relationship.  One issue we struggled with was discipline and his role in this.  I did all of the discipline for her, but many times did not follow through with consequences or let her get away with things because I didn't want to hurt her feelings or upset her.  He on the other hand, wanted to set strict boundaries and rules and when he did enforce consequences, I felt like he was targeting her and upsetting her.  I would swoop in to comfort her when he wasn't looking.  This caused a great deal of conflict because my husband felt that he wasn't being supported in his relationship with our daughter and we really struggled finding his place there. 

Two strategies I learned about this week that helped us resolve our conflict were compassionate communication and compromise. The NVC website explains that compassionate communication or nonviolent communication focuses on communicating in a compassionate manner in order to meet everyone's needs (http://www.cnvc.org).  Although we did disagree about some things, we both had only the best intentions in mind in regards to my daughter.  We both wanted what was best for her.  When communicating about this issue, we both expressed our concerns and we were both considerate regarding the other's position.  My husband understood that it was difficult for me emotionally to see my daughter upset, while I understood the difficulties he faced with trying to find his role as her step-father.  Ultimately, we compromised on most issues.  He allowed me to be the lead when dealing with discipline issues and we supported each other and worked as a team when problems with our daughter would arise.  I made sure to begin following through with consequences and my husband was less aggressive with these consequences.  

Utilizing cooperative strategies which benefited our family relationship and served mutual goals helped us to create a loving and nurturing environment for our daughter (O'Hair and Wiemann, 2012).  Although we still have an occasional disagreement or conflict about what is right for our daughter, we rely on compassionate communication and compromise to attack the issue.    

References

 O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real Communication . Boston: Bedford/St. Martins.

The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). NVC Model & NVC Concept. The

center for Nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/

Who am I as a Communicator?

I found this week's application assignment to be very informative and really did give me some information about how I perceive myself as well as how I am perceived by others.  I had my husband and one of my colleagues evaluate my communication skills.  Both of them gave me scores very similar to my own, with minor differences.

I was most surprised that I scored in the moderate range for verbal aggressiveness.  I am quiet, shy and tend to avoid conflict if possible.  I was certain that I would score in the low range for verbal aggressiveness.  When my husband evaluated me, I scored in the mild range, but it was very close to moderate.  When evaluated by my colleague, I scored in the moderate range as well.  This was different than I perceived myself or even how I believed others perceived me.  After considering this rating, I realized that I don't like conflict, however if I feel the need to express a thought or opinion about something, I will do it.  I guess that it is what I say when I do speak, not my apprehensiveness about speaking that led me to score in the moderate range.  

I also learned that I have a people-oriented listening style and that I have situational communication anxiety.  I agree with this assessment of myself and feel that the description of these two attributes are accurate.  Being people-oriented will help me build relationships with the children and families with whom I work as well as with family members and friends.  One down side to this, however is that I may be too trusting of others and could possibly be taken advantage of (Rubin, Rubin, Graham, Perse, & Seibold, 2009).  I have always been reluctant to speak in front of others or even have conversations with those whom I'm not comfortable.  Being labled as having "situational" communication anxiety is accurate.  Who I am communicating with affects my comfort level and I do tend to avoid these situations.  I seek out opportunities to challenge myself to become more comfortable with these situations.  I volunteer to deliver staff development as well as interact with people I don't know very well when my husband and I are out at social events.  

The information provided by these assessments will help me to become a better communicator and I'm glad I had the opportunity to learn about my perceptions as well as the perceptions of others.  

Resources

Rubin, R. B., Rubin, A. M., Graham, E. E., Perse, E. M., & Seibold, D. R. (Eds.)

       (2009). Communication research measures II: A sourcebook. New York: 

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