Relationship Reflection



Relationships and partnerships are very important.  As a person with an introverted personality, it has always been difficult for me to develop deep relationships with other people.  The relationships that I do have, have taken time and effort on both sides.  This means that every single person I have a relationship or partnership with truly knows me for the person I am and understands me as a person. 

Positive Relationships 


My Husband, Matt

                                               



The most important relationship that I have is the relationship with my husband, Matt.  We are truly a partnership in everything that we do, including parenting and the household.  Since we are complete opposites, we actually serve as compliments to each other.  Where I am emotional, he is logical.  Where I am a bit disorganized, he is the epitome of organization.  Having each other to balance the other out helps to create a very positive relationship.  Matt is always willing to do whatever it takes to make sure our family is taken care of.  It is an amazing feeling to have a partner so dedicated to the success of our relationship.  We make joint decisions regarding our daughter and share in each other's interests. While it hasn't always been easy, we try to live by the idea to love each other unselfishly.  I think this has made a huge impact in the success of our relationship.  In order to maintain our relationship, we both had to spend time learning about each other and making adjustments to our behavior and actions to compromise.  This was at times very challenging because often times we were on opposite sides of the spectrum.  We are still learning how to communicate effectively with one another, but never give up on making our lives together better. 

My daughter, Isabel

 The relationship I have with my daughter, Isabel is also extremely important to me.  This relationship is positive because it helps me to be the best person I know how to be.  I know that I am a role model for my daughter and strive to set the best example for her as possible.  I want the very best for her and, with the help of my husband, work tirelessly, to ensure that she is raised with good morals and values as well as an understanding of responsibility.  She is a very loving and thoughtful child and is in every sense of the word a "mommy's girl".  Supporting each other with unconditional love of one another is a huge contributor to our relationship.  Although she is only four years old, I do find some challenges with being a good parent and trying to maintain the relationship.  At times, I struggle with enforcing rules or helping my husband enforce some rules because I'm concerned about hurting her feelings or making her upset.  I try to use effective techniques such as communicating with her about the importance of rules and following directions. It continues to be a learning experience between all members of my family to function in a way that is the best for everyone. 



My group of friends

Another positive relationship I have  is with a group of friends I made in college.  They were all in my education program which gave us time to work together and get to know one another through several years.  All three of these girls share similar personality qualities with me and are all truly good people.  Although we are spread out in location, we all make an effort to see and talk to one another.  We are also very understanding about the fact that we lead very busy lives.  Even after months of not seeing one another, when we do see each other, it is easy to pick back up where we left off.  I know that anyone of them would do anything that I needed of them and I would also do the same.  Some challenges we have faced is time and location.  We all make efforts to spend time together or contact each other.  We are also all very understanding and don't get offended about time or other commitment restraints.  Although we face some challenges, it's wonderful to know that no matter what, I have a group of friends that will support me through anything. 



I believe I have a partnership with my husband.  We make joint decisions and consult one another about personal and professional concerns.  We work very well together and are more than just a relationship.  We rely on one another to make our lives successful.  I feel that my other relationships are not truly partnerships.  We do spend time with one another and work to develop and maintain strong bonds, but do not have a partnership in which we make joint decisions.  Perhaps as my daughter grows older, our relationship will develop more into a partnership in which she can participate more in the decision making about her life and our family life. 



My understanding of relationships and partnerships plays a large role in my work as an effective professional.  I understand that in order to best meet the needs of children, it is essential to develop partnerships and relationships with families.  Through understanding my own relationships, I know that it is difficult for me to build relationships, so in order to be an effective professional, I need to develop strategies to be more extroverted and open to building and exploring new relationships.  Through all of my relationships, I realize just how important communication is to maintain these relationships.  Communication is also essential to a positive relationship with children, parents, and families. The main characteristic I saw that set a partnership apart from a relationship was joint decision making.  This is very important to being an effective professional because I want to incorporate parents and families in the educational decisions concerning their child.  Pulling from my own personal experiences with relationships and partnerships will allow me to be a more effective early childhood professional.     

Quotes About Children

"I continue to believe that if children are given the necessary tools to succeed, they will succeed beyond their wildest dreams!"

- David Vitter, U.S. senator

"Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them."

- Lady Bird Johnson, former U.S. first lady

Testing

Standardized tests are a reality in the public school systems in the United States.  Children prepare the entire year in order to pass the standardized test.  Children get further away from exploration and play and focus on developing skills in order to pass the test.  Standardized tests are often biased, meaning that some children don't have the experiences or background understanding in order to comprehend what the test questions are asking.  This is unfair as it is supposed to be assessing skills, but instead is assessing background knowledge or understanding.  Often the math tests also become a reading test, requiring the children to read in order to demonstrate understanding of a math skill. 

Tests among states also have different standards.  The assessment taken in Maryland (MSA) is not the same assessment that is used in Mississippi or California.  Therefore, a child that is considered proficient in Mississippi is not necessarily considered proficient in Maryland.  If standardized testing is required, states should adopt national assessments or standards to hold all children and educators accountable at the same level. 

I don't agree with the use of high stakes testing because of the reasons mentioned above.  I do feel that children need to be assessed in academics (math, reading, social studies, sciences).  In order for our country to be competitive in today's economy and with other countries, math, science, and technology need to have a huge emphasis.  This can be achieved however, without the use of standardized testing.  Assessments need to be used in order for children to demonstrate their independent understanding and as a tool for educators to use in order to continue developing the children. 

I researched education in Finland.  Finland incorporates play and learning to help master academic knowledge.  They also emphasize optimal learning environments and establish content to best help students reach their instructional goals.  Instruction is the key element that helps students learn, not standards or assessments.  Finland also encourages and helps build strong, educated teachers.  Nutrition, health services, psychological counseling, and guidance are regular elements of every school.  The educational community in Finland is unconvinced that high-stakes testing increases student learning, but the Ministry of Education has introduced new measurements for schools and teachers where they are assessed and rewarded or sanctioned for performance. 

Source: 
Sahlberg, P. (2009).  A short history of educational reform in Finland.

Stress on Children’s Development

Stressors in Childhood

Someone I am very close to grew up in a household full of violence and abuse.  He was the child of a single mother who had to rely on her abusive father to take her and her family in.  This person dealt with physical and emotional abuse on a daily basis and would try to avoid his grandfather as much as possible.  His other family members turned their attention to his sister and protected her at all costs.  He was the target of his grandfather’s frustrations and rage.  He suffered his entire childhood from elementary school through high school.

In order to cope, he tried to avoid his grandfather, helping his mother outside or spending time at friends’ homes.  When he reached his early teenage years, his uncle took him all summer long, which gave him an out from the abuse and violence.  He became an angry teenager who got himself into fights and into alcohol.  When he became old enough, he started physically fighting back against his grandfather.  Once he was 17, he moved out with some older friends who had their own house.  He continued living a reckless party lifestyle. 

This story however, has a happy ending.  When he was older, he obtained counseling services to help him deal with the emotional stress he had lived with for so long.  He went to college, graduate, and law school, traveled the world and overcame the adversity he faced growing up.  He is currently married and has a daughter and has single handedly rebuilt the relationships in his family, including the one with his grandfather. 

Stressors in Afghanistan

I was interested in the country of Afghanistan after reading Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner, I was made aware of the devastation the country and its people faced after the intrusion of the Taliban.

People in this country are faced with war, poverty, and hunger.  After years of war, Afghanistan is one of the most dangerous places in the world to live.  According to ActionAidUSA, Afghanistan is faced with high infant and child mortality rates, low immunizations, severe nutritional deficiencies, low school enrollment and low literacy levels.  In Kandahar City, over 32,000 school aged children are living and working on the streets.  Of these children, over 75% of them are out of school (www.actionaiduse.org).  Many of these children have lost their parents because of the conflict and scavenge for their food or become involved in dangerous or illegal activities.  Girls are often unable to even attend school because their parents do not see the benefit of education.  Also, children are needed to help earn money for the family.  Food is scarce in the country as well because of draughts.  25,000 kids died of hunger last year. 

Aid is being provided by countries, like the USA, but it’s not enough.  The infrastructure of the country needs to be invested in but, not enough is going into rebuilding schools, hospitals, and airports.  Families who are able, move to other areas in order to try to improve their lives.  The country is still working to rebuild, but the process is slow.        

Source:

http://www.actionaidusa.org/

     

Immunization

Immunizations protect children and adults from a variety of contagious diseases and other serious complications through the use of a vaccine.  Being a mother, I faced the same dilemma as most parents in regards to immunizing my child.  I heard about many of the concerns regarding the side effects of vaccinations, such as the possibility of developing autism.  My husband also had similar concerns regarding immunizing my daughter for the flu, because he believed that people need to develop their own immunities to the flu virus.  Because the benefits to immunizations are greater than the risks that come with not immunizing a child, I had my daughter receive all of the recommended vaccines. 

In many other areas of the world, having your child immunized is not as easy as here in the United States.  According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC) website, in the country of India, many areas do not have good vaccination programs.  Because of this, India accounts for 40% of the world’s children who are not fully vaccinated (www.cdc.gov).  In slum areas, children are exposed to poor hygiene and sanitation facilities, which increase the risk of transmission of polio, a disease rarely ever heard of here in the US.  Unfortunately, some families are resistant to immunizing their children; many times, they are unaware of vaccines or may not know the long-term positive benefits from vaccinating their children.  Programs such as Polio Partnership work to explain the value of vaccinating children (www.unicef.org).  Polio Partnership’s goal is to make sure every child under five is immunized with the oral polio vaccine.  Another website I visited, www.youthkiawaaz.com, mentioned that there is a Universal Immunization Program, whose objective is to immunize all infants universally.  While this is a wonderful concept, they face several problems. 

1.      Inadequate coverage: In many areas in India, there is no record of newborns and many infants are only partially immunized.

2.      Lack of training:  Lack of data storage, safe injection and disposal of vaccines.

3.      Lack of cold storage facilities for the vaccines

It is important to make parents aware of the benefits and risks associated with immunizing and not immunizing children.  Luckily, vaccinations are easily accessible here in the United States.  Contagious diseases that are controllable through the use of a vaccine should not be affecting children in other areas around the world.  It’s wonderful that programs are available to try to increase immunization awareness in all areas. 

Childbirth Experiences

My daughter was born on December 22, 2006 at 8:31 am.  I had a difficult time convincing the doctor to allow me to come into the hospital around 11:00 pm the night before.  She continued to tell me that I was having pre labor contractions and I should remain at home.  After several telephone calls, I was given the “okay” to come in.  Upon arriving I was registered and wheel chaired to a delivery room where I changed into a gown and was examined.  I was not far enough along and the doctor considered sending me back home.  My contractions intensified, but never showed the active labor pattern.  They decided to keep me overnight and gave me a shot of morphine in my thigh to relieve some of the pain.  It didn’t help.  The contractions kept me from sleeping, but thankfully around 3 am, I was given an epidural for the pain and was able to sleep until around 7:30 am.  At that time, I was fully dilated and able to start delivery.  The room had several nurses who helped with the delivery instructions.  After about 45 minutes of pushing, I delivered a healthy 7 lb. ½ oz baby girl, with the help of my obstetrician.  Luckily the entire delivery process went extremely smooth and we had no problems whatsoever.  Later that day, we were moved to a post delivery room and remained until the afternoon of December 24^th, just in time for Christmas!

I chose this example because it is the only birthing experience I have.  I consider myself very lucky because several friends and family members had a lot of difficulties with the birth or the after effects of the birth.  Birthing complications could have a significant impact on child development.  A friend’s baby had a difficult time passing through the birthing canal and swallowed a large amount of meconium.  At one year old, he continues to have breathing difficulties and has to use a breathing treatment.  He also needed to wear a helmet because one side of his head was not shaped correctly.  While he is developmentally on track with other one year olds, he has had to face several challenges already in life and he will continue to live with breathing difficulties.  Having adequate care and support from the hospital staff allowed him to have minimal effects from the difficult birth.

My grandmother was born in the Philippines, so I decided to find out about births in the Philippines.  The Philippines have a very high infant and mother mortality rate.  A child born in the Philippines is almost fourteen times more likely to die during the first month of life and about half of the Filipino children’s deaths (under age 5) happen in the first 28 days of life.  One out of every 140 pregnant women dies during childbirth of conditions that are preventable or treatable, such as hemorrhage, sepsis, or hypertension.  One of the reasons for this is because it is common Filipino practice to perform deliveries outside of a health facility.  8 out of 10 births in rural areas occur at home without the help of medical professionals.  Instead, mothers will use a home based attendant, or “hilot” to help with the delivery.  These attendants are not prepared to deal with emergency situations.  Many women living in these rural areas are poor and unable to access medical care during pregnancy therefore having a higher risk of complications during childbirth. 

Unlike the United States, where nearly 100% of all births take place in a clinical facility, only 60% of the births in the Philippines are even supervised by a skilled birth attendant.  There are hospitals, doctors, nurses, and midwives in the cities.  Many mothers are kept in the maternity ward in these hospitals, all sharing a single, large room.  During my daughter’s birth, I had a private delivery and recovery room.  In the hospitals, Filipino mothers are attended by many staff members, similar to the amount of support we receive here in the US.  Babies are often kept together in a single bed, similar to the nurseries in the American hospitals. 

The birthing experience in the rural areas of the Philippines would have a huge impact on the development of the child.  Generally, these mothers are poor, uneducated, and unable to access medical care during their pregnancy.  The babies being carried by these women have a much higher risk of complications and possibly death, which will greatly impact their development. 

Resources

Delfin, Claire (2009).  Childbirth, still a grim reality for many Filipino mothers and babies. Retrieved July 2, 2011 from www.gmanews.tv

Examining Codes of Ethics

NAEYC Code of Ethical Conduct

• Ethical Responsibilities to Children
• This section describes the responsibilities educators and care providers have to support children's development and learning.
• Ideal:  I-1.2 - To base program practices upon current knowledge and research in the field of early childhood education, child development, and related disciplines, as well as on particular knowledge of each child.
• I find this ideal significant because it addresses two very important aspects of working with children.  It is important, as an educator, to be aware of new research dealing with children and apply it in the classroom to benefit children.  This ideal also implies that the educator or care taker has knowledge of each child.  This is imperative to building relationships with the children as well as differentiating to meet each individuals needs.

• Ethical Responsibilities to Community and Society
• This section explains the educator or care taker's responsibilities of providing programs that meet the needs of families and communities in order to benefit society.
• I-4.4 - To work through education, research, and advocacy toward a society in which all young children have access to high-quality early care and education programs.
• This ideal is significant to my professional goals because my professional goals include starting my own educational daycare facility.  Because my daughter has been in a variety of daycare situations, I am aware of the difficulties in finding a daycare facility that is both high-quality and affordable.  Daycare is a huge cost to my family, but we prefer quality over cost.  I hope to provided an educational daycare setting that is both high-quality and affordable to the families in my community. 

DEC Code of Ethics

• Professional Practice
• This section describes the responsibilities of an early childhood special education professional.
• 1.  We shall demonstrate in our behavior and language respect and appreciation for the unique value and human potential of each child.
• This is significant to me because in today's world, children are exposed to so much negativity and many do not have good role models.  It is evident in the classroom of students I work with that there is a lack of respect for both themselves and others.  I have to teach lessons on good character, in school, because they are not getting this at home.  Those working with children have a responsibility to set a good example and model the behaviors they want their children to show.